How Can You Avoid Rejection from a Girl
Go home and watch porn. Porn won’t reject you, but it won’t fulfill you either. If you want to meet a real girl, you’ll have to learn to deal with rejection. If you’re too worried about how to avoid rejection, then you’re not going to become the guy who confidently swoops girls. How can you when you fear failure?
You could walk up confidently, dressed to the nines and drop the mother of all bombs of openers on a girl, and she can still reject you. You must understand that this is inevitable. Learn to shake these rejections off and play the numbers game.
Too many guys let the fear of rejection push them back into their comfort zone. It is this fear of rejection that leads to guys asking, “How Do I Get Her Back?” When you see a guy come crawling back to his cheating or manipulative girlfriend, its because he fears rejection. Guys who settle for a girl who is clearly not up to their standards are guys who fear the unknown of the modern dating world.
You need to fix your mindset if you expect to avoid rejection. Many of you don’t even love yourself but you expect a girl to be excited to go on a hot date with you? If you are harboring negative thoughts about yourself, she’s going to see through your façade. Girls have great bullshit detectors. They smell confidence or the lack there of.
When you obsess over your height or your appearance, they notice. Its ineffable but noticeable. Most of your insecurities are really excuses to avoid doing something that makes you uncomfortable. You would rather go home and watch porn than go outside and talk to real women. It’s easy. Safe. Comfortable. You’d rather play video games than start that side business you dream about. Games are easier. Safe. Comfortable. You need to learn to step out of your comfort zone if you want to accomplish anything meaningful in your life.
You Avoid Approaching Because You Fear Rejection
The fear of rejection is a real problem for most men. You’ll hear guys talk about this girl that they’re infatuated with. You’ll obsess over her for months, following her on social media, being around her, but you fail to take action. Then one day, you finally make the move and she says, “let’s just be friends.” You’re devastated. You’ve built up this moment to be so significant. You expected that she might even be your soulmate, and she barely even knows you exist.
It can be devastating when you fantasize about something for so long only to find out it was a one-way street. This is why you need to make your move right away. Don’t waste time dreaming about something that may not be real. Don’t expect that “if only she sees what a nice guy” you are, that she’ll fall head over heals for you. She didn’t friendzone you. You friendzoned yourself. This is social programing that misleads too many young men.
Girls don’t want a guy that is nice. That’s bare minimum socially acceptable behavior. Its not going to get them excited for you. You need to be interesting, you need to show your capability of being a protector and show that you are socially competent.
Girls want a guy who will show them adventure.
Girls want a guy who will keep them safe.
Girls want a guy who will make them laugh.
Life is too short to pedestalize every woman you’re attracted to. Be brave enough to put yourself out there and make your move. Worst case scenario is she says no, and you can move on with your life. And as you approach more often, you’ll find yourself getting more comfortable. When you approach the next girl, you won’t be so nervous.
You know those players that you envy? You know how they get phone numbers, or Instagram or whatever bullshit we communicate with nowadays? They approached ten other girls first. Every “no” gets you closer to a “yes,” but most guys will stop at the first sign of adversity. The successful guys brush it off and keep going.
Are you going to live your whole life this way? Do you want to quit everything the second you get one piece of negative feedback? Imagine how many successful businesses wouldn’t exist today if they stopped when they got a no on their first sales call. Rejection is a part of life, and the dating aspect of it is a very small piece of the rejection pie. Successful people learn to ignore rejection.
How Your Appearance Causes Rejection
First impressions matter and most guys signal to women that they are low value before they open their mouth. What are you wearing on a typical day? Can you possibly expect to be taken seriously wearing your superhero t-shirt? Its childish. Leave it for days at the gym or lazy days at home.
So, what should you wear? Stick to basic clothes that fit you well. The typical guy likes to wear big and “comfy” clothes that do nothing to flatter your appearance. Fit is more important than anything with your wardrobe. Avoid the logos and avoid the patterns. You don’t need to be a walking billboard or an optical illusion.
Upgrade your shoes and your watch, or don’t wear a watch at all. There’s a serious lack of knowledge in the watch game and many guys are wearing cheap Chinese watches that don’t keep good time, don’t last long and don’t signal wealth. Girls will judge your ability to earn based off the watches and most of you guys signal a beer budget. If you’re want to class up your watch game, I recommend you start with Seiko. They are the perfect entry level watch and look classy despite a reasonable price tag. Click here to see the current price on Amazon.
The average guy has literally no sense of style with their shoe game. This is holding a lot of you back. Throw out the crocs. Stop wearing socks with sandals. And if your everyday shoes and your gym shoes are the same, you need some more options. One of my favorite investments has been the 1000 Mile Boot by Wolverine. At first, I thought they were pricey, but they are the most versatile pair of shoes I own. They look nice dressed up for work and work perfectly with a pair of jeans. I’ve taken these on hiking trips and to bars. And I’ve owned the same pair for about 5 years. In the long run, they’re a worthy investment and they signal that a man has taste and a secure job.
Lack of Social Queues Lead to Rejection
This is a serious issue for many men. This leads to all sorts of awkward situation for simple rejections to claims of sexual harassment. Some guys come on a little too strong with a girl who’s shown no interest and they make the girl feel uncomfortable. This happens when guys fail to understand subtle social queues.
How do girls signal their interest to you? There are multiple ways that together can paint a picture if you understand how to read the situation. Pay close attention to any type of touching. Girls are very aware of how they touch a man, and this should be your best sign. Does she “accidentally” brush up against you? Does she touch your arm or your leg? These are your signs.
What about eye contact? You’ll often find that prolonged eye contact is a signal of attraction. If you find a girl locking eyes with you for more than 3 seconds while not in a conversation, that’s a good sign. Sound silly? Netflix doesn’t think so. They have a rule prohibiting employees from staring at someone for more than 5 seconds, calling it “creepy and inappropriate.”
There’s no set of rules here, and she may be attracted to you, but for whatever reason a relationship can’t happen. You see this in offices with “work wives” or when one of the parties is already in a committed relationship. Maybe you did read the queues right but logistically it simply doesn’t work right now.
The problem here is that nothing is absolute, and guys like to think logically. But intergender dynamics are based on emotions over logic. It doesn’t have to make sense.
Closing Thoughts
Rejection is a part of life. This may be an uncomfortable truth for you, but the sooner you accept it, the more opportunities you’ll find. And navigating the modern dating world doesn’t have to be as treacherous or complicated as people make it. It can even be fun. So, try not to overthink it. Use these tips to avoid self-sabotaging. And since I mentioned pickup lines, don’t use them This is the only pick up line you’ll ever need: “Hi, I’m (your name here)”
